Monday, September 3, 2012

03.09.2012 - this includes some deep thoughts on moving.

Hey guys,

Slept in again. Partially because I felt like it and partially because I need to get money to pay my September fee for the dojo, so.

This morning I went to Nissin Delitcatessen again, which is the first time I've just got on a normal errand here. I had to switch trains and everything!
I felt pretty awesome, plus it means I now have lettuce, tortillas, black beans, dairy-free bread, granola, and sheep milk feta.
You pretty much can't buy those things anywhere else, so I love that place.

I'm just killing a few minutes until I need to start getting ready for work, I'm just going on my own today for the first time. I've been to the school twice now & I have directions so I should be fine, but it's still nerve wracking because I reeeally don't want to fuck up.

I was just sitting here and had the urge to write a few thoughts on home/moving that I've had over the pack few days. And since this is what I do, I'm sharing them with you.


-I won’t ever pretend I don’t like my parents, or that I’m too cool for them.
They’re two of my best friends and I miss them insanely. Of course they’ll get on my nerves sometimes when I go home, but I will never say I don't them, or they’re trying to ruin my life(how 14 does that sound?), or that they have anything but my best interests at heart.

The same goes for Magnus. Of course he an annoy me or we can fight but he's still the best brother in the world.


- I also won’t talk shit about Nova Scotia.
Was my whole time there great? no.
Did my early teenage years blow because of bullying and no one talking to me? yes.

But I miss it. I’d created a life for myself without even noticing it because I was too busy saying I hated it. I miss people, I miss the fresh air, I miss being by the ocean, I miss how few people there are.
Not to say I don’t like Tokyo, I do. Truly. But it's not home.
And I didn't even think of Nova Scotia as home until I came here.


- Nothing is too much or too scary for me to do.
As scary and sometimes not great this last little but has been, I’ve proved to myself (once again) that I can be victorious over anything I want.
It’s hard, I’m not saying it’s not. I don’t speak the language, I don’t know anyone, I’m having to be trained for my job while also preforming it, I don’t know my way around… there are a thousand difficult things.
But I’m ok.
My anxiety is under control (my number 1 fear about moving was that my anxiety/depression would spiral into something worse than it's ever been.), I'm starting to understand the train system, I'm managing to feed myself fine. All really great things.


that’s it, just a few thoughts.


Skyped with Shane for a bit, got ready for work, then off I went!

Today was the first day I actually just went by myself, it was a bit scary. I was all 'I know where I'm going blah blah blah nothing can go wrong hahahaha'
First my clock at gotten behind sometimes between this morning and 2. So I was running like 10 minutes late.
Then I got confused outside Shibuya Station which cost me another few minutes.
I did actually get to work on time, but on time for me means I'm 10 minutes late. So stressful.

I have to be back at the same school by 6.45 tomorrow morning, so I better figure it out then.

But work was fine, slowly getting the hang of things.
And on the way back to the station I walked around a few shops, got a few more presents for people I like, managed to leave my photo and suica (train/metro/bus) card in a shop's fitting room, only to have to walk 7 blocks back to get it.
I was not on top of today after I got some from the store this morning.

But I'm home now and I'm going to make myself a proper dinner for the first time in ages.

romaine lettuce, cooked black beans, and what are basically japanese chicken nuggets.
except they're breading in fancy things and taste a bit like soy sauce & ginger, so I deem them real food.


I most likely won't be updating this for a few days, I'm just going to be working or very busy.
Tomorrow I work 6.45 - 8.30, then do my English hour with Keiko from 1-2, and then work again from 2.45 to 5.30
Not much time for adventures there.

We'll see.

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