Today's my 3 month anniversary of living in Tokyo/living on my own.
It's odd, I feel like I've lived here for so goddamn long.
Not in a bad way, but honestly it feels like I've been here for at least 6 months maybe longer.
I didn't go to class this morning because I wanted to try Seki Sensei's class after work.
But then the Oedo Line decided it was an opportune moment to stop for FIFTEEN MINUTES between Higashi-Shinjuku & Wakamatsu-kawada (the stop closest to the dojo, on this line) so I didn't even get to the street Hombu's on until 7, which is the start time for the last classes.
So I walked back via my favourite korean grocery store.
Made myself some gyoza (not the best kind unfortunately) and watched the newest episode of Criminal Minds (not the best one unfortunately). What an evening.
I have tomorrow off and Hombu's closed so I have the entire day free. I have a pretty exiting plan but the weather way mess with it a bit. We shall see.
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I had this long write up planned with things I feel I've learned and blah blah blah, but then I started writing it and it just felt so terribly contrived.
I haven't radically changed, I'm not a different person, my life views haven't undergone some sort of giant upheaval.
I feel like the same person I was before... just a little bit more capable and a little bit more aware and a little bit more knowledgable about myself & who I want to be.
And I know, those are important and big things. But they're hard to explain. I have these crazy moment where I just feel like an adult (in a possitive way) and I've living this life and doing all these adult things like actually doing laundry and commuting to work and it just hits me, that I'm a real grown up now. Or something.
Other times I find myself listening to music that reminds me of hanging out in my living room with my family (Yes, Magnus, I do mean 'winding down music'.) and weeping quietly because mummy & daddy aren't here to hold my hand through a tough moment and I wonder if I'll ever really be ok on my own.
But I think honestly the two biggest things I've learned is that
A) I can do it alone. Not that I have to always or that I can't get help but I am truly capable.
B) mummy and daddy (and Magnus and my close friends) will always be there to hold my hand. Not always literally, but I have an outstanding support network of people who make my life amazing and are always here for me.
It took moving and having a really hard time to see that, and it's invaluable.
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That ended up a bit long and magical in the end, didn't it?
To end off your evening here's a photo that sums up my entire life in Japan.
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| smug face + koala-tea time in my underwear + gi pants. |
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